Tony Stark, Spider Slayer
by Ninja-on-the-run
Summary: It was a beautiful Saturday morning in the Avengers household... Until the Goliath Bird Eater Spider escaped. Domestic Avengers! Has Peter Parker in it, based off Avengers Headcanons on Tumblr. Rated T for language. One-Shot. Drabble.


**A/N: Drabble inspired from the Avengers headcanons. I was in class when I wrote this, like the majority of my fanfics. Don't worry, my assignments got done. Shout out to the creator of the headcanons blog on tumblr! :D Domestic Avengers rule. Only this time, unlike the headcanon, Peter Parker is in here. ****And instead of camel spider, it's a Goliath Bird eater and mother of glob, those horrify me. Largest spider in the world. No pairings. Shout out to Princess-of-enigma for reading this first!**

**I don't own the Avengers.  
Enjoy!**

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Other than the Hulk, one thing everyone in the Avengers tower would like to avoid is Tony Stark not having his coffee.

His crankiness is understandable. The man works at night and tries to sleep at least four hours, but let's admit it; he is too damn cranky in the mornings without his coffee.

But his crankiness was actually useful one Saturday morning...

The morning the Goliath Bird Eater escaped.

* * *

Peter Parker was new to the tower. He was an unofficial addition to the Avengers that SHIELD had to do to keep an eye on him. It was pretty unexpected and the kid wasn't much of a bother. He was always working on his web blasters in the new laboratory Tony had installed a few halls down from his own. He went to school, eventually went out crime fighting. A good kid.

He had stayed up, helping out Tony in his lab with a new suit design and worked on his newest prototype of web blasters. They spent some chill time, just talking and working. It was nice.

But it also cost them many hours of sleep.

As usual, Peter woke up around eight AM. He was exhausted, but he still woke up that early. Force of habit.

Peter had been getting cereal when he saw Pepper on the counter. Once he saw the spider, his eyes widened.

She was on the kitchen counter, pointing and yelling at the spider on the ground. "Spider!"

_Goliath Bird Eater._

Nope. He was so done.

Bruce Banner was entering the kitchen, but he immediately turned around with a simple "Nope" and went downstairs to his lab.

Peter jumped up onto the wall, still in his pajamas. He let out a small yell.

"CLINT!" he yelled into the air vents. He pounded on one of them. "Clint!"

"What do you-OH MY GOD!" Clint Barton was rubbing his head and entering from the main living room jumped and backed up against the wall. "That's the biggest spider I've ever seen!"

"Someone kill it!" shouted Pepper. "Shoot it, blast it, DO SOMETHING!"

"Peter, you're Spider-Man! Do something!" exclaimed Clint as he jumped on top of the refrigerator.

"That's a Goliath bird eater! No way in hell that I'm doing something!" Peter had jumped onto the wall and was on the top, nearing the roof.

For some reason, the R&D Departments upstairs had been working with Goliath bird eater spiders, all imported from South America. Largest spider in the world, about the size of a dinner plate.

Tony had made it very official that no one is to mess with the spiders. Once everyone saw one of them on the screen, they all agreed to not mess with them. They were pretty scary.

Peter had no problems with tarantulas. Or any spiders. It was either him or Natasha that dealt with them

But the Goliath bird eater spiders are his number one weakness.

Why? They were freaky. Larger than your own hand. And it could eat birds.

"Natasha! Do something!" exclaimed Peter.

"No." Natasha Romanoff was so done with the spider killing.

She slammed the door to her room shut and locked it.

"Clint!" Peter yelled.

"No!" Clint shook his head. "STEVE!"

"It's no use! JARVIS!" yelled Peter.

"Mr. Rogers is not in the building right now."

"Oh God... Come on Clint, you guys have dealt with alien armies, but you can't deal with a friggin' spider?!" exclaimed Peter.

"Shut up Peter, you're 17!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKES ANY SENSE!"

"SHUT UP! IT DOES!"

Just then, Tony yawned, entering the kitchen and seeing the panicked Avenger. He groaned, got his shoe and hit the spider with a satisfying smack.

"You guys need to get your shit together!" he snapped and got his mug and left.

It was silent in the kitchen. Clint got off from the top of the refrigerator and looked at the dead spider. Peter fixed his glasses and slowly lowered himself off the ceiling.

"Well Peter," Clint broke the silence. "Should we have a funeral for your cousin?"

It took Peter a minute to understand what he meant.

"Okay, that is just rude."

* * *

**A/N: First attempt at Domestic Avengers. Not as good as how I saw it in my mind. _ But I tried! Had this prompt in my mind for a while. I love Domestic Avengers. So perfect. Well, thanks for reading! Review! :D  
-Esmeralda**


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